A Thank You To My Online Family

What a year, this week marks a year I found I had cancer once again. I went to our local hospital A&E after weeks of suffering with pains in my hip, with my past medical problems they immediately did all the tests bloods, MRI, ETC. Going in to A&E on the Monday and leaving on the Friday knowing I had the worst news ever, I was done with it all I just wanted give up.

I already had fought Leukaemia when I was 5 and I didn't want to go through the pain, stress and treatment of it all, I just wanted to live my life my way. Getting little sympathy from the Doctors I then turned to friends (both in person and online) and family I was convinced to having 6 weeks of radiotherapy in October. Christmas was bleak to be honest I always love Christmas normally but with this looming beast in the background each moment of joy was met by the realization that it could be my last Christmas. I was so sure I was going to die to the point I had written up a set of requests for when I was gone.   

My operation arrived so quick March 25^th almost 8 months to the finding of the tumour, after a 13-hour operation (being brought around the next morning) I spent a week and a half in the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. The operation has been a success I do have nerve damage in my left foot but considering I could have lost the use of my whole leg; so a little damage to my floor is a small price to pay. I have months of physiotherapy to go but the end of this chapter is a lot closer than it was at the start of the year.

Over this year I found solace in YouTube Videos mostly Outside Xtra, Outside Xbox and Eurogamer the  videos and the people who made them provided me many laughs in very dark moments. I also found love and comfort in Wynonna Earp and the Earper fandom who feel more like family than just fellow fans of the best goddamn shit-show ever. I personally owe so much to the cast and crew for entertaining and distracting me during this year.

I found inspiration in Taeler Hendrix, a strong, friendly and brilliant woman from the world of wrestling. Her tweets, inspirational messages, videos and recent blogs have been a big comfort to me I hope she and the Taeler Army see this and know the impact they have had on my life. I have recently written a bucket list (Might write another blog about it all) on that list is too “See a non WWE Wrestling show” and “Meet a Famous wrestler” if that can be her I would be honoured.

I found friendship in a wonderful person named Elouise who has been one of the biggest comforts in my life, the time we've spent together this past year has made me feel near invincible, you've not only helped me put aside my problems but helped me with condifence too and I hope I can repay the favour some day.  

If any of the people mentioned above read this know that I am forever in your debt, you made my life so much brighter and I’ll think of you as family. I hope I can one day meet you all and thank you in person, but as I can only contact you through the Internet for now this will have to do for now.

A great Sci-Fi (Firefly) once said, “When you can’t run you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, you find someone to carry you.”  This past year I have needed you people to carry me, believe me I appreciate every second, every word of comfort and every moment of putting up with me. From the bottom of my heart I love you all.